Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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