went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
