Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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