what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
