I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
