I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
