So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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