She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
