I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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