you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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