nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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