My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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