This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
