singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We left the knife in your bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
