she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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