oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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