Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize