1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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