What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
