I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
