she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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