I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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