Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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