i jhust puked up my retainher.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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