I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
