Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
