I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize