i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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