Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
