If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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