I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
