make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
