The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
