a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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