do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
