I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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