friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We got so high we made milksteak
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
