Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize