oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
