she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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