I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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