You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
