normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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