she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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