More tranny stories later!
oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
