I am spending my child support on dildos
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
