Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
