so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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