The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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