Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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