Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
