the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
