he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
