Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
