I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
