doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
