I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
