The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
