and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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