Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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