the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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